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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?